Zing!

Don’t know when I’ll be able to update tomorrow, so let’s just open up with a few cheesy jokes I made up before I go to bed:

Beyonce is going out with a punk rocker. They’ve been going off and on for a while and she’s had enough. One days, after sex, she asks him if she ever plans on marrying her.

“Wot? Naw, luv. I like wot we ‘ave, y’know?”

She smacks her ass and says “well, if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it”

He takes out his nose ring, leans over and pierces her pussy.

Zing!

Not diggin’ it? How about this one:

The Pope, Julius Caesar, and an Atheist walk into the bar.

The Pope says, “I know there is one true God. When I confess my sins, I’ll go to Heaven.”

“Then get on your knees, bitch, and start confessing!” Caesar cries, splashing his White Russian all over his crotch. “The goddess of love was my grandmother! I’m as godly as you’re ever gonna meet!”

“You’re both wrong!” interjects the Atheist. “I happen to know that none of your gods exist. Every night, I pray to whoever’s listening that I can get some intelligent drinking conversation and every night, you two follow me in here!”

Zing!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your mom. I paid for her cab ride home…

Zing!