Clint Pereira

Clint. Meaning: “fenced settlement.” Also synonymous with westerns. Word of advice: don’t laugh around his mule. Mule doesn’t like it. Thinks you’re laughing at him.

Pereira. Meaning: “peartree.” Pereiras got around, like really got around. “Pereira” is like the “Smith” of Portugal, only the Portuguese couldn’t stay in one place. They took a ship, sailed around and banged a bunch of people and/or made them read the Bible. There are Pereiras in India. There are Pereiras in Brazil. There are Pereiras in China. The Portuguese may have almost single-handedly invented the term “coolie,” which was kind of a dick move, Portugal. Kind of a dick move.

Clint Pereira. Meaning: ?. He’s probably a cyborg from the future. They say he has artificial eyes and his right arm turns into a gatling gun. His left hand has magical powers, like how his thumb and index finger can squish people’s heads. Clint Pereira takes pie seriously. He’ll shank you for it and blame it on your dog. And then you’ll be dead and your dog will be arrested and spend his life in prison, whining and looking all sad halfway through his eyelids. All because you got greedy. People like you are the reason Clint Pereira formed a secret society to destroy the world with the right amount of love and hate and laser beams. The process probably involves sex, but who would know? All the good pickup lines are taken by the people who don’t want to blow up the world.

Jerks.

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2 Comments

Filed under Flash Fiction, Session XXI

2 responses to “Clint Pereira

  1. awesomepie

    I haven’t participated nearly enough lately, but I told myself I’d join in on this week’s Schmoth no matter what. I can’t account for the topic, though.

    http://theschmoth.wordpress.com/

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