Ultimate Penis

Bobby was silently enjoying his PBJ when Richard came upon his lunch table. His face held a look of determination, even madness. Bobby, sensing conflict, wiped the PBJ from his lips.

“I challenge you,” Richard cried, “to a game of ‘Penis’!”

Bobby torqued his neck to crack his vertebrae. “You’re on!”

Richard started, mouthing a barely audible “penis.” His teeth were a glistening white barricade.

“Penis,” Bobby whispered back, the wind gently carrying his tremulous voice.

Richard returned fire, his “penis” vibrating seductively against his lips.

“Penis,” Bobby stated with some rigidity.

After this, it was rapid fire. Both boys inevitably screaming to see who had the biggest “penis.” Every student in the cafeteria was entranced by this game and even the faculty couldn’t stop it. The entire school was silent.

They ran to the stage where there were acoustics. Everyone applauded at the wild penises thrown about. But it was not enough for these too boys, hungry for victory. This game of “Penis” would end in only one coming out alive.

They pushed their way through the halls, voices raised to a pitch that sounded like two fire alarms going off. That is, if fire alarms said “penis” instead of clangoring. It was at this time that Bobby and Richard seized the intercom from the main office.

“PENIS!” Bobby wailed.

“PEEEEENIS!” Richard shrieked.

The cries were unearthly, deranged to the point where students imagined these were children possessed. But by angels or demons, nobody knew for sure. The children jumped onto the roof, crying “penis” to the heavens. They climbed up Mount Diablo and the word “penis” penetrated the ears of people for miles around.

The game began to tear apart the countryside. It couldn’t handle the enormity of such thundering voices.

And then, all was silent, as if the country had entered the eye of the storm. A wind began to grow as both Bobby and Richard filled their lungs with air.

PENIS!” they said together, one last time. The entire world shattered apart then like a cookie left too long in milk.

Whether were like boys possessed, but whether they were angels or demons, nobody could ever tell for certain.

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Filed under Flash Fiction, Session XX

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