Don’t Use Cell Phones

“I don’t have a cell phone.”

“You don’t have a cell phone, Roger? What are you, a cave man?”

“No, I’m not, James,” Roger said, stirring around the sugar and creamer into his coffee. “And I’ll tell you why. We don’t even know the long term effects of those things.”

“What? You think they’re going to give us all cancer?”

“Yes. All of us.”

“What? So everyone’s going to be dead in forty years?”

“Not dead; just mutated. Everyone will have tumors growing out of their skulls. Some will die, sure, but the rest will be deformed, hideous, and in constant pain. People will kill each other over simple pain medicine, even aspirin once the pharmacies are burned down in the riots…”

“…the riots?”

“…and only the tumorless few shall rule the world with their superior physical prowess, concentration, and overall charisma. The people will swoon before myself and others like me. They’ll bow before us as elder gods from a time when the world was not completely ravaged by the cancer-causing devices that we so foolishly worshipped at the beginning of the 21st-century.” Roger took a sip of his coffee. “Damn good coffee.”

“I still don’t understand how you can function without a cell phone.”

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Filed under Flash Fiction, Session XVII, Uncategorized

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