The Dog

I was robbing an apartment on Tujunga, hauling the television to my van, when I tripped over the cord, fell on my side, and smacked my head on the carpet. That’s when I met the dog. It was like a white little furry rat with big black eyes.

“Goood doggie,” I whispered. Not that it was a really dangerous or scary-looking dog, but it was just a couple feet from my face and I figured those little teeth could still do some damage.

“Gooo~gah!” I cried as the dog darted toward my mug. Not that it was a girly scream or anything. Just a little high is all. The dog swiped its tongue up my stubbly cheek before my scream scared it away. Some guard dog. Not that I was complaining.

“Hi, kiddo,” I said and its tail started wagging again. Dumb mutt. “You’re a good dog, aren’t ya?” It leaned in again and I scratched its head. It was actually kinda cute, with its little scrawny paws and its clueless face. Not that I sympathized with it or anything. I’m a beefcake myself, you know? I just have a soft spot for things smaller than me. I’m a big ol’ softie. An angry softie. With tattoos.

So, anyways. After my near-mauled experience, I saw that I had a second chance. Another lease on life. I hoisted myself up, gripped the cord in my teeth, and carried the T.V. out with my giant forearms. That would be my last stolen television. From now on, I figured I was going to start kidnapping pets.

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3 Comments

Filed under FEATHERTON III, Flash Fiction

3 responses to “The Dog

  1. Hah, very cute. I like the repetition of “Not that I…” and the juxtaposition and contradiction of the narrator’s inner and outer dialogue.

    When I read this: “The dog swiped its tongue up my stubbly cheek before my scream scared it away,” I imagined the dog physically running away from the narrator since it was scared. However in the opening sentence of the next paragraph: ““Hi, kiddo,” I said and its tail started wagging again,” it seemed a little strange. I mean, I get it now – it didn’t run away far, but perhaps clarifying that? I dunno.

  2. shortnmorose

    Hilarious! I thought it was going to be zombie-based and that the story would end in zombieness. I was confused by teh same paragraph SP mentioned except I thought the scream was from a bite. So the hi kiddo line cued me back in that nothing happened except a lil licking. I also liked the juxtaposition of inner and outer dialogue and I also liked the frankness of the opening line “I was robbing an apartment in Tujunga.”

    Also found this funny: “I just have a soft spot for things smaller than me. I’m a big ol’ softie. An angry softie. With tattoos.” – but why angry?

  3. sanskritoflove

    cl… i mean, ah, seamus: i hear you’re gonna read at books and beers, reppin’ the undeniables/writers’ workshop… gotdanggitall, i’m having a hard time remembering when i was both happier and prouder! congrats and kudos, brotha! ~allan

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