A Word from Our Sponsor

Do you love puppies? Do you hate zombies? Buy puppies in bulk from Puppy Warehouse, we’re still the oldest and #1 warehouse of puppies.

When it comes to zombies, dogs just don’t cut it. Their instinct tells them to protect their master and attack zombies, which just leads to their untimely death. When dogs rush to their death, it costs you money… and precious time needed to defend yourself or reload. Our puppies are smaller and flightier than their fully-grown companions and guaranteed to give zombies a run for their money!

Puppies have been tested and proven to live longer than dogs in a zombie confrontation, giving you the precious time you need to perform the basic need to fight or flight. At Puppy Warehouse, our bitches can’t stop having litters of these little zombie deterrants! We need you to help buy up our puppies before they grow up to be slow and loyal dogs! With our limited time special offer, you can get twelve puppies for the price of four!!!! That’s three times the normal market rate!!! We’re practically giving these puppies away!

So come on down and buy up some bait-grade puppies today! You may regret it later if you don’t…



Filed under FEATHERTON II, Flash Fiction

5 responses to “A Word from Our Sponsor

  1. awesomepie

    Disturbing much?

    Sorry about the brief break from the main story (I know you’re going to say, ‘write what you want’ but I want this thing finished). To be honest, I was strongly considering absorbing a warning and just going to bed without writing tonight, but then I had this twisted little idea. Guten nacht!

  2. I liked this little piece. I wonder if this could be worked in as a commercial or radio bit. a really fascinating and crazy idea. If this was going to be developed into a commercial I would love to see images of the puppies and the Puppy Wearhouse people in their smug suits or something to that effect.

  3. libertad

    Tani: I have a radio show, this would totally work! Woooot!

    In an seriousness though, although this piece deals with zombies, it approaches it from a different angle, which I know is something you’ve been trying to do. That being said, this is something the Onion would totally do. Back to your comment about how you didn’t know what to write before, it’s funny how some really good ideas come to your head before you go to sleep. It’s just hard to tell when you’re half-awake.

  4. libertad

    did you also know about pride, prejudice, and zombies?

    i was curious

    • awesomepie

      I gave that to my bro for a Christmas present. He said it’s really good.

      Radio, eh? That’s an awesome gig to be in. Finally I have a medium with which to sell this closet full of puppies I’ve been keeping!

      ~ Seamus K.

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