Immaculate Rain (revision)

December 1984: not a single cloud marred the skyline that noon summer day in Sao Paolo. But there was rain.

The favelados called it Imaculada Chuva, the rain being born seemingly out of God’s own eyes. For the first time in over a decade, the 95-year-old was able to bend his knees and kiss the muddy ground. The entire street knew him and they all rushed to help him up, thinking he may be dying. When they came up to him, they saw that he himself was crying. “Mary is crying for us,” he said. “The dead are weeping with forgiveness.” When Jose Carlos was young, he had led a sordid life. He led a bootleg operation 1920s, but there were rumors in the favela about his involvement with crime lords, that he did unforgiveable deeds on people just as poor as he is now. Jose Carlos never thought that God would offer a true miracle to the favela before he died.

Little Davi splashed his bare feet under the warm trickle of dirty water from the gutters above, unaware that his parents inside were making love after having a terrible fight over a broken dish.

The twins, Maria and Mariana, laughed infectiously as Maria fried plantains and Mariana sewed up her child’s torn pants. He had been playing with the older boys again and she was worried he was going to fall in with the wrong crowd.

The bare-chested men practicing capoeira at the beach stopped to squint at the rain falling from the sun. When the rain dried, the capoeira dancers at the bottom of the hill began their furious dance again, refreshed. Their lightning feet struck the air, kicking out rainbows over the hillside of the favela.

On that morning, the favelados said that all sins had been washed away, that they were given another chance and the favelados celebrated in the evening until their legs were no longer good for standing. When they woke up again, life resumed as it always had, though there was an exuberance in their eyes where, before, they were only the abused eyes of the desperate and forgotten.

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10 Comments

Filed under FEATHERTON SESSION, Flash Fiction

10 responses to “Immaculate Rain (revision)

  1. awesomepie

    I guess I’m making this “weird natural occurances” week. This one is a story I posted a while back and began thinking about after I wrote the previous meteor story. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow! I’m thankful for the Undeniables.

  2. You do seem to be on a bit of a theme binge. As long as the stories are good, like the last two have been, you can easily be forgiven. What is this Undeniables all the WP bloggers seem to be talking about? I checked out the site but as far as I can tell its just a group of writers.

    • awesomepie

      JUST a group of writers? I’ll let that one slide. You’re a writer, too, you know? Don’t sell yourself short. We take writing seriously around these parts.

      Yes. We are a group of writers. We’re also a workshopping group, which we’re concentrating on right now in this session (session=2 months). Most sessions, we write every day, but this one we’re working on editing and critiquing. We also have some books on print, though you’ve probably seen that on the main site. If you are interested in finding more out, you may direct questions at info@theundeniables.org if you wish.

      Thanks for visiting, though, Jared. We appreciate your comments.

      • I didn’t mean to imply that they were JUST a group of writers, I think you put emphasis on the wrong part of my sentence there. I also believe that I tried joining this group. I checked out the webpage and believed I emailed the info line and sent in my wordpress blog.

      • awesomepie

        No worries. I was just yankin’ your chain. Did you ever get a response?

  3. Interesting imagery, enjoyed this.

  4. shortnmorose

    So far I’ve read this and Flower Names and the tone of both pieces are so different from your previous pieces. I really like your versatility as a writer and your ability to write such solid tongue-in-cheek prose then move to something so poignant and beautiful as a piece about a favela in Brazil. What I really appreciate is the imagery – lightning feet, kicking rainbows. It’s such a warm piece about renewal. Just wondering, is this based on an actual event or is it 100% Seamus Kready fiction? Either way, it’s a beautiful adaptation/work of imagination 🙂

  5. vicky_luu

    this is a very different tone from your other pieces, a lot more serious. i like the writing very much though, it feels very real…almost like you’re re-telling a memory.

    you’ve painted a great visual with your words, and i’m a sucker for the use of rain in stories. i think it’d be interesting to keep going with this kind of tone in your other stories. you’re showing great versatility, and i’m interested in seeing the more serious side of your writing.

    maybe you could even combine your two styles…what would that be like? craziness!

  6. ingrid

    eu amo a literatura! i really appreciate the fact you’re able to write in so many different voices and still make them believable. this piece reads like a memoir to me, some sort of journal entry from someone who is actually from this time and place.

  7. awesomepie

    To shortnmorose: 100% fiction… well, maybe nothing’s ever 100%, but this event never happened to my knowledge.

    To Vicky: Combine the two styles? Maybe I’ll try writing a story with that purpose in mind. Be warned: I’m not going to hold back!

    To Ingrid: the narrative voice was something inspired by Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Chronicle of a Death Foretold. Thanks for recognizing it, though I suppose I have a long way to go before I get close to Señor Marquez.

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