Satan owns a classroom supply shop called “Fruit of Knowledge.” Its logo is an apple with a bite in it. There’s an arcing rainbow coming out of the bite. Satan sells only the most recent textbooks by the most liberal authors, some branches even carrying books about how to accept and understand homosexuality. Instead of the usual posters like the “hang in there” one with the kitten hanging from the branch, he has Harry Potter posters. Satan hopes that he can get students to start practicing the dark arts early by making them believe that magic is fun.
Since Satan has money, connections, and connections with money, Fruit of Knowledge has become a fairly widespread chain. Though it doesn’t fare so well in good, God-fearing places like Louisiana and Utah, the store’s popularity has really boomed in Godless places like San Francisco. It should be noted, however, that there has been an increase in sales in Alaska recently this past winter. The hellish textbooks make magnificent tinder for fires. In fact, book burnings make over 10% of Fruit of Knowledge’s sales in the United States. When asked about his popularity, his popularity, Satan just smiles and shrugs. He’s really very modest.