Uncle Malcolm does a magic trick where he snorts spaghetti up his nose and eats it. He pulls out the rest and asks us if we we’re hungry. It’s gross.
Uncle Malcolm used to be in prison but he isn’t anymore. When he got out, my family had a party. I played with my cousins. They weren’t fun that day.
Uncle Malcolm talks with one side of his mouth because he had a stroke. Mommy says that’s what people with strokes do because their brains can’t make their mouths talk right. He’s funny, though. I still love him.
Uncle Malcolm cries sometimes.
Uncle Malcolm says bad words a lot. Mommy doesn’t like it when he does, but he always winks and gives us candy. He has Dum Dums in his pocket so we don’t tell on him. I’m not a tattle-tale but Josie is. One time, Josie told on me when I was saying bad words. I don’t like Josie. She’s always tattling on me. Uncle Malcolm says I’m like a grownup when I don’t tell.
Uncle Malcolm says not to be like him. He says to listen to Mommy and Daddy, but I like him better.